Expat Life: Letting Go

Cynthia:  Last time we started talking about how our new adventure is repeating the stages described in the titles of our trilogy of books. Specifically that we’re once again taking a “Leap of Faith.”

Edd:  The second volume, “Letting Go,” is my personal favorite. We could have called it “Cutting Loose.” My Gosh, it seems like we partied for two straight years!

C:  We arrived in Cuenca so broken from the financial strain we’d been under. The sheer joy of being released from that burden translated into a nonstop celebration of freedom.

E:  Totally unsustainable but what a blast while it lasted! We truly were leaving behind so much. Not only the money hardships. We were also saying goodbye to the stress and pressures of everyday life in American culture. The multitasking and over-scheduling. Traffic. Never feeling relaxed.

C:  What do you think we’re “letting go” of now?

E:  Well, our belongings in Cuenca certainly shrank. It was definitely time to go through everything we own once again. Surprising how much we decided we didn’t want or need anymore.

C:  You’re right, but that’s a theme we’ve been working on for a long time—simplifying our lives in ways big and small. We now know to consistently ask ourselves, “Does this serve me?” If not, whether it’s a possession, a relationship, a belief, or a habit, it’s outta here!

E:  Locking the door meant more than just temporarily saying goodbye to our furnishings. On a larger scale we walked away from the comfortable life we’ve created over the past decade.

C:  Yes and no. Yeah, we’re moving into a totally new lifestyle, but it’s not like our old life has vanished. All the memories and everything we’ve learned are coming with us. So I think of this as more of a continuation than a departure.

E:  I like that. Picking up on the simplification theme, I mentioned leaving behind our “comfortable life.” Would you agree that our requirements for what that means have changed over the years?

C:  Absolutely. Our needs are quite minimal now. Those last days in Cuenca we both realized that beyond a functioning kitchen, bathroom, and laundry facility; a comfortable bed; and someplace to sit and to eat, everything else is either decoration or storage.

E:  So we’re “letting go” of some of our material possessions and our old way of life. Here’s a biggie I think many people would have great difficulty embracing—surrender. I don’t mean waving a white flag and giving up. I’m referring to abandoning the need to know. To be in control. Or at least pretending that's the case.

C:  Exactly. We’ve come to understand that excessive planning stifles spontaneity. Being in the present moment allows you to observe and take advantage of so many opportunities you never even see when you’ve “put on the blinders.”

E:  That’s a tough balancing act. On the one hand, having laser beam focus really does support accomplishing a specific goal or task. But taken to an extreme that approach possibly becomes counterproductive. Trying to plan and control everything could be a reflection of underlying insecurity.

C:  Well, new expats quickly discover they are way outside their comfort zone and definitely not in control. Trying to navigate a different language and culture requires you to develop extraordinary levels of both patience and resourcefulness.

E:  With all our experience living abroad, I’m confident we’ll land on our feet wherever we are. There’s a line in a Dan Fogelberg song that asks, “Where do you go when you get to the end of your dreams?” Let’s chat about that next time.